no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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