he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Someone signed my nipple.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
