she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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