I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
