The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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