if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
