we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Randomize