Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
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