but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
