Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
