Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Randomize
