Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.

(401): View more from Rhode Island

oh how i love working at summer camp.

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(917): View more from New York City

I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina

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(720): View more from Colorado

I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop

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(330): View more from Ohio

I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."

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(705): View more from Ontario

She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.

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(828): View more from North Carolina

Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.

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(701): View more from North Dakota

He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.

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(530): View more from California

Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer

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(206): View more from Washington

SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG

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