Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
