take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
