The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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