Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Operation Purity has been aborted
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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