I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Randomize
