Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
