she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Randomize
