HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
