I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
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