i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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