My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Randomize
