Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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