i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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