he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
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