Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Randomize
