Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
