I will die if light touches me.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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