I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
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