It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
