Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Randomize
