Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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