We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
