Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Welp...herpes.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize
