I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize