Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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