so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
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