his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
Randomize
