I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize