What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Boobs speak an international language.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
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