either way he was missing a nipple.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
