loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize