quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
