Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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