Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
