I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
