she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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