Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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