somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
I wish i was in the wii world.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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