last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
