he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Randomize
