I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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