I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize