You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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