just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
is wine microwaveable?
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
