then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize